Sleeping Slayer
by LittleBit9
Summary: Buffy is hurt in a battle. All seems to be Spikes fault. Angel comes to help the group. The Frist is still around. What will happen next... Something bad is in the mix and it is after Spike's soul.
1. Sleeping

**Sleeping Slayer Chapter one**

_It does not seem fair that those left behind seem to suffer more. Pain seems fair off in the days of a happy childhood. But when it becomes a reality. It seems to cover all those days of happiness. Those that never do wrong get punished for the crimes of others. But what do you do if you are the one to blame? What if you have caused pain to the person you love most? All it took was one act one, one order not obeyed. Had I just done as a I was told she would not be here. The niblet and her friends cannot even look me in the face. I forgot that anger could be such a strong force. It was my fault…. Buffy can you ever forgive me…._

Angel watched his Spike face seeming to grow paler by the minute. Spike was lost in his own thoughts unwilling to do anything. His thin form seemed frail as if it might brake with only a touch. Five days she had been in a coma no movement. Buffy was the stronger one out of the pair. Without her Spike seemed like a lost child. He had not left her side in the five days and had not eaten for more than a week. Angel had dragged him out to get food in the hospitals blood bank. But he had only managed to get him to a half way there. Spike ate nothing he sat in silent.

Spike had not spoken a word in his defense. When Xander had accused him as the cause of the incident that had left Buffy in a coma. He had not looked into her

Dawn's face when she had entered the room. His eyes did not leave Buffy's bruised face. She had been in a coma five days. The only time Spike had left her side was to be treated. He had thrown the ice pack away as soon as he got it. After all he was a monster ice cold he had no need of such a thing. The pain reminded him of what he had done to her.

Spike suddenly stood and left the room. It was as if he awakened from his daydream and decided on the course of action he would take. Angel played a hand on his shoulder that Spike shrugged off. He did not look into Angel's face. Evan could not bring himself to look Angel in the face. He wanted to cry out to scream that it should have been him. But no sound escaped from his lips. Spike wanted only one thing that was revenge. The cost did not matter to him not even it was his soul. Angel saw the look in his eyes.

Angel turned to stop Spike grabbing him by the shoulders. Pushing him against the wall holding him in place. He looked into Spike's battered face. His right cheekbone had a bruise that covered the whole side of his face. The left side of his face had a cut that was slowly healing. Spike fought to escape Angel's tight hold. But due to lake of food and sleep his weakness made it impossible.

" There is nothing you can do right now. All we can do is wait and see. Let me drive you back to the house. Spike, I know you hate me but let us help. You are not the only one who loves her. "

"I am the only one who would cause her pain…I don't want to cause anyone else trouble or pain. Back off just leave me alone peaches." Spike pulled himself out of Angel's hold.

Dawn lay in her bed sleeping soundlessly. After she had seen her sister she has passed out. Spike looked into her door glade to see she was resting. He felt a sharp pain in his side as a nurse passed. She brushed against his broken rib cage. She stopped to study him.

"May I help you sir? "

"No…."

The nurse when into the room and smiled at the red haired witch. Willow smiled back and asked how she was. The nurse replayed that she was fine. Gently waking Dawn to give her the meds for her broken arm. She remarked that she was healing faster than they had expected. So much so that she could leave latter that day. Willow saw Spike pass back toward Buffy's room she looked sadly after him.

Spike walked out of the hospital without looking in on Buffy. He could not handle the pain any longer. When he was near her in her as she was now he felt physical pain. Spike walked to the parking lot and pulled out the keys to his motorcycle. He had taken them from Angel well he had been holding him to the wall. Spike's eyes felt heavy as he started the bike and left. He drove to the house silently. He parked in the drive way a memory coming into his mind. Three months before she had walked him up this drive way after saving him from the First. He remembered her helping him down to the basement and then tending his wounds. He remembered her smile and the light in her eyes. He remembered he saying she did not hate him like that. She believed in him now. She knew he could be a better man. He had to only believe it himself. Her words where the only thing that held him to life during his captive with the First.

Spike closed his eyes allowing himself a moments rest. Before entering the door to the house and walking downstairs. He did not stop to talk to the potential slayers. That looked after him with wondering eyes. Spike made it just inside the basement door before he slide to the stairs. He did something he had not done in over 100 years. He closed his eyes and prayed.

God had never seemed so far away as he did now. _Why would God do this to Buffi…take me instead God please let her live. I am the monster she is your hero let her live. I know that you hate the likes of me. But please save her. _

Spike whispered as he fell to the floor shaking as he felt tears break him. He could not longer hold back the lose he felt. This was all his fault. He fell asleep on the in the doorway excision over coming his will to stay awake.


	2. Time to Act

Faith walked into the kitchen to get a cup of tea for the old man. She wanted him to stop telling her that she was the leader now. She did not want to think of strategies. She only wanted to sleep. Her body ached from fighting the Ober Vamps that seemed to keep appearing each night. She saw Dawn sitting at the counter looking towards the basement door. Dawn looked at her and smiled, though tears slide down her cheek.

" He told me to leave… he sounds like he did before the first took him. Someone has to help him. Before he hurts himself…" Dawn said though she had no idea why she was telling Faith. She stood slowly cradling her arm and walked toward the stairs. Faith stared after the girl not knowing what to tell her. _Buffy, you have to wake up girl. I don't know if we can last much longer without you._ In the last month the two enemies had become friends. They fought side-by-side working together. They were an unbeatable pair. But one slayer down now the First was starting to get braver. The girl's lives now rested in her hands. Faith walked towards the basement door. She placed her ear to the hard wood waiting to hear any noise. That would prove that Spike was a danger to them. But the only sound she heard was pitiful sobs. She had never seen anyone so in love.

Faith jumped into a fighting stance when the backdoor opened. She dropped her arms when she saw it was Angel. His face reflected the pain all around her. She walked towards him and held him tightly. Angel pulled her back to kiss her forehead. This was their ritual after he returned. They had been together for the last four months. Buffy seemed to be happy for them. Though her first reaction had been anger. As had Angels when he found out who he last lover had been. Spike… the memory seemed so far away now. Everything changed when the enemy had killed the first girl.

Jillian, a blond from Britain with a smile that lit up the room. . Nothing but a child killed never realizing her destiny. She wanted to be a artist her painting seemed life like. They had only known her for a short time one month. Buffy and Faith had buried her with the others. That came before Faith had joined them. They where the girls that she would never know in life. They were those punished for beginning a Potential.

Angel turned away from Faith and walked toward the basement. He could smell blood it lingered in the air. Spike was trying to do something rash. Angel ran to openthe door followed closly by Faith.


	3. The Chose

**The Answer**

(This is what was going on with Spike)

Nothing mattered anymore to Spike she was hurt. Nothing could take away the nagging pain in his heart. It made him sick to think of causing her pain. So, sick that he threw up what blood he did have in his system. He could not even sleep all he could see was the bringers. Their knives killing one of the potentials he heard her last screams. That one had broken his heart they had lost so many. There seemed to be no hope in his mind. They would lose and he was the cause of this pain. He could not fight the First when it took control of him. This was the first time he had not come out of it in time.

Buffy had to fight off the storm of vampires that had attacked. The prehistoric vamps had more power than she. Well, Spike had been bleeding slowly feeling faint. That is when it happened she fell and did not stand again. If not for Red she would have been dead. Spike had not drunk any blood unless someone had forced it down his throat. He had wanted to go to the hospital in the ambulance with her. But the others dragged him even when he fought back. They brought him to the house force-feeding him. Though he could not keep anything down. They keep at it trying to feed him to calm him. Faith and Angel had stayed with him not letting him move.

He left without anyone knowing to go to see her. Once he saw her sleeping form he had not moved. Until at last he knew what he had to do. His weakness was why she was lying there gone. If he had been stronger to fight the First, but he was not would never be. He could never be the man she thought he was. It was not something he could do never. He would always be a monster. Always be a killer and this was the only thing he believed any more. He was the reason she had gotten into the fight in the first place.

After the First had kidnapped him for the second time. He could not forget the words it had spoken to him out of his head. "You are right she will come for you. But this time we will be ready. You will be our alley in our fight." The voice of Buffy had whispered in his ear. The First's trap had worked she came to find him. Love, hate, or need he had n o idea why she had come Angel and the whole team had come they where after nothing other than a book. Or so he had thought but in truth all they came for was him. She risked it all just from him but why him. "Buffy forgive me" He whimpered from his corner in the dark basement.

Now he knew what he had to do he had to end it. Without him she could be strong. He was the weak link and as such he must be severed.


	4. Action

Angel and Faith ran down the stairs the smell stronger the closer they got. Angel looked around like a predator looking for its prey. He saw a puddle of blood flowing out from under the stairs. As he moved closer he saw a white and stained with crimson blood. Never the hand was a large knife. He saw Spikes limp form lying in the puddle.

Faith felt sickened by the sight before her eyes. She had seen death it was part of the slayers life. But she had never seen anyone harm himself or herself to this point. Even in jail when those who had wished for death did it fast. This looked like a ritual of some kind.

Spike had calculated the most painful places to cut and stable. It was a planed to prolong the pain before he dusted himself. But the plan backfired when he had passed out. He had tried to grip the stack "Mr. Pointy" as Buffy called it. But he did not have enough strength left to even lift his hand.

Angel shouted at Faith to run to the kitchen and get some blood. Angel than when over to Spike to lift him up in his arms. He felt like a rag doll his head falling to the side. He was warm to touch that was the thing that made Angel stop and study him after lying him down. He looked at the small frail looking vampire. He looked like a teenager has he lay on the cot.

Faith heard Spike cry out in pain as he Angel lay him down. She ran down the stairs after telling Willow what had happen. Willow ran to get the first aid kit they kept stocked in the hall. She ran down the stairs to follow Faith.

When she got to the bottom she saw blood under her feet. She fell back against the stairs almost throwing up. But a pair for strong hands stopped her. Xander stared at the sight before him. Spike was hidden from view by Angel something bad must have happened. But there had not been anyone else in the basement.

The only one had been Spike… what had he done this time. It had crossed the line. But Xander not longer had any doubt in his head the Spike loved Buffy. He felt Willow crying into his shoulder. This was not going to be easy to tell Buffy.

She had woken up the first thing she had asked was to see Spike. But now Xander was not sure their would be a Spike to see.


	5. Bring Him Tea

**Bring Him Tea**

Dawn sat in the car with Xander, Willow and Buffy. Her slayer strength had brought her out of the Coma... She insisted on returning to the house. She signed the releash form against to Doctors wishes. She hated the hospital it reminded her of her mothers death. She would rest easier at home. She had a fear deep down that something was wrong and that she had to return to the house. Buffy fiddled with the radio until a song came on. She stopped and listened everyone in the car studying her worried.

**"Animal I Have Become"**

I can't escape this hell  
So many times i've tried  
But i'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself

The image of the basment with Spike after he had lost control came to her mind.

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal  
(This animal, this animal)

She remembered him asking her pleading with her to kill him.

I can't escape myself  
(I can't escape myself)  
So many times i've lied  
(So many times i've lied)  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself

The way he had fought for her before she had gotten hurt. His face bleeding as he look at her unable to help. One of the anient vamires bitting into his neck.

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal

She remebered hearing his voice, his crying at her side when she could hear nothing else. His voice bringing her back to reality.

Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell

(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal  
(This animal I have become)

She felt tears sliding down her face. Did she really love him? Was that why he was the only one she trusted. Why she had so badly wanted to see him when she woke up... Spike why where you not there?

"Buffy...Are you ok?" Dawn asked as her sister whipped away her tears...

"Yes, I just want to see if Spike is ok...I am worried about him..." Xander made a face but did not say anything. Willow smiled and told her that he would be happy to see her.

"You'll have to bring him some tea!" Buffy laughed thinking about Willow bringing her new slaver potential girlfriend tea. Kennedy cared for Willow and it was good to see her so happy.

"Ya, I'll have to bring him some tea..." She smiled and closed her eyes. But still something worried her some darkness that threatened to over take her. No the big bad but one closer to home.


	6. Humanity

Humanity

Spike felt warm as if he had a fever. But vampires did not get fevers. This was the strangest thing Angel had ever seen. Spike seemed to be in shock. But he was sleeping fitfully. Angel went upstairs to see how Buffy was feeling. Dawn had come down stairs to stare at Spike. When Angel got up to leave he turned to look at Dawn.

"Dawn are you going to come back upstairs? I know your sister just got home."

"No, I think I am going to sit with Spike. In case he wakes up. Buffy would want sit with him but I know….she needs to rest…I…we should tell her. But Xander says we need to wait. She feel asleep after taking her meds. He told her Spike was out slaying. " Angel nodded but looked at her wondering if it was wise to leave her alone. But the sadness evident on the girls face took away any fears he had. Angel turned and padded Dawn on the shoulder. She smiled a quick obviously forced smile and walked over to the bed where Spike slept. She took his hand in hers and held it tightly.

Dawn heard Angel walk up the stairs and her tension left. She felt as if it was her fault all this had happened. Her threat played over in over in her head.

"You, vampires, you sleep right?" His response "Ya. Why?" a look of wonder crossed his face. Her threat played again "I can't beat you in fight when your awake even with a chip in your head. But if you hurt my sister your are going to wake up on fire." Things had been so strange the only person her sister trusted was the one that had hurt her to most. Love made less and less sense to Dawn. Everyone kept hurting each other. Yet Buffy still loved Spike and Spike still loved her. How could everything be so strange?

She heard Spike's breathing it was labored and forced. She had always thought it strange that he breathed. He was more human than any Vampire she had ever seen. Even Angel and his soul longing suffering did not seem as human as Spike. His face was pale but she guessed that was normal for a vampire. But something about the breathing bothered her. It seemed as if he was a normal human not a vampire. Dawn knew that Spike was willing to do anything for Buffy. But this had been a little too much to take. Dawn looked at the bloodstained floor and walked over to study it. She saw markings barely visible it was a spell. It seemed to have been washed away when the others had cleaned up the blood. But in the dull light she could make out the mark. What had he been trying to do? She walked over to the corner and saw a book. In the rush to help him no one had seen the hidden little corner. She picked up the black notebook. Next to it Spikes coat lay on the floor. The black leather glowed in the dull light. The moon shined through the window curtains. . Dawn walked into the moonlight to read the black book. It was a journal with pages yellowed in age. Next to it there was a book of similar books that where hidden under Spike's coat. Dawn did not know what to make of the strange book. Hand written notes covered the pages. In neat script almost like a computer fount covered the pages. Spike journal…

I can no longer wish that things could change. I am going to take action. In truth I am a coward and afraid to kill myself. As each day goes on I am becoming more my old self. Weakness is the reason she was harmed. I need to end my life or she will suffer that is what I was told. Even if it was the first perhaps it was truth. I cannot control myself when the first uses me.

But I wonder if I was to become all what I once was if she could forgive me. I am unsure of what to do. But this spell promises to perhaps end all the suffering. I am too much a coward to kill myself. So, I will allow fate to decide my punishment for harming her. I know that I need to die. I have killed to many I cannot handle being the cause a second time for her death.

I have failed her yet again. How could anyone ever forgive a monster? I thought I could be a good man if I got a soul but I need to go further than. I will do whatever it takes to become what she deserves.

Dawn felt tears roll down her face. She had yelled at him blamed him. They had all blamed him. It was always his fault he was supposed to protect her. He had promised her that he would no matter what.

Something had happened. What action had he taken? She turned to the next page had drawings places to cut and words to a ritual of some kind. The image she saw on the page next to it scared her. The cuts on Spikes body where just like this spell instructed the caster to inflect. She carried she book over to the staircase. It was the same marking that was in the book. Dawn heard Spike cry out again in his sleep. She heard him couching up blood and turned to see him roll towards the wall. His body started to shiver and he could not control the breathing. She saw the image of the stone that had to be used and the items and than the name of the spell. She dropped the book and ran up the stairs. Suddenly, she understood Spike's words. He had not tried to kill himself. The spell was from the black book. The one that she did not dare to touch. The same one that held forbidden magic that Willow had used to fight Glory.

The spell of reanimation... It killed most who dared to try it. But to do it on yourself in order to become human. Alone with no help would mean certain death. The blood had made him sick because he was no longer a Vampire. He was bleeding and not healing. Because he needed to be in the hospital, humans that where not like Buffy would most certainly die without help.


	7. Suprise WAKE UP!

Surprise! Now wake up!

"Back again… I thought your friend was released." The nurse who had taken care of Buffy addressed the small group of friends. As she walked by she stopped and studied them.

"Another friend is here. He is in surgery." Faith said stretching her arms. Angel sat next to her silent thinking to himself. Dawn slept on Willows lap as the Witch read a book. Xander had stayed with Buffy to tell her what had happened. She was still asleep when they had called 911 to get help for Spike. Angel held the form for entrance to the hospital.

Name: William Arisa

Age: 24

Proof of insurance:

Place of Birth: England

On and on it went Angel wrote out information truths and lies. He had never thought that her would have to do this for Spike. Why, had that crazy man tried to do this? He must have felt the only way to be with her was to change. To once again become a mere man. The nurse stood and talked for a while with them. Than took Spikes information sheet and brought it to the main desk.

Dawn woke up and rubbed her eyes. She looked around her at the white walls and felt sick. This was a place full of death she wanted to leave. But would not do so until she was sure that Spike was ok. The doctor had asked what had happened. They called it a suicide attempt. The group could not tell them that they where wrong. In many ways what he had done was a suicide attempt. Angel stated that Spike was his brother and he would take any bills or responsibility that needed to be taken. Names all made up information all false. No, Vampire needed insurance information. They sat for what seemed like hours until the doctor walked towards them.

"Your brother will be fine Mr. Arisa. You may go up to recovery to see him. I wondered if I could speak to you a moment in private." The Doctor walked away from the group and Angel followed. "Does your brother have a history of depression? I would like to have him talk to some one from the physiatrist department."

"As I told you before he was attacked. We found him and than called you. We have no idea who did it nor do we care. We just want to take him home as soon as possible."

"Sir, it is going to be at lest two weeks before he can go any where. That is if he even wakes up. We are afraid he may be in a coma. We had to put him on a ventilator."

"I am going to see him now doctor. Thank you for all your help. But this is a family situation. We will deal with it accordingly.


	8. Chapter 8

Scared of What?

The machines beeped and moved over and over. The noise started to fade after a few hours of listening to it. Beep…Beep….Beep…. the air. Spike looked pale white like newly fallen snow. His breathing was labored and forced by the ventilator. All they could do was wait and wait some more. The longer they waited the more slowly time seemed to pass. Dawn sat by his side holding his hand loosely afraid to hurt him.

Dawn was startled when she heard a gasp behind her. She turned and saw her sister standing with Willow at her side. Dawn rose from her seat to hug her sister. Buffy's green eyes filled with tears that freely fell down her face. She was hurt still but looked much better and rested. The pale figure scared Buffy as she looked at the figure of her x-lover of her friend. Spike's hand lye motionless and Buffy took it in her's. Her friends and sister left the two alone. A nurse entered the room and injected some kind of liquid into the IV.

"So, he is your boyfriend. I saw him sitting at your bedside when you where hurt. He refused to leave even to eat. He must love you very much. So, much that when he thought he would lose you he did not want to live. I hope everything works out for you both. I am so sorry that this happened." The nurse smiled kindly and turned to leave but turned once more and added. "Talk to him. If he hears you it may bring him out of the coma. It will remind him what he has to live for."

Buffy looked at the sleeping form. She glared at him anger in her eyes.

"Why did you have to do this? You big dummy… I never asked you to do this. I could have loved you even if you where not human. But now you are all human and mortal. You are dieing and I never got to tell you. Why, do you think you had the right to make this whacked out decision for us. We where getting to know each other again. I believe in you with or with out a soul. But now you might have cost me the chance ever tell you. I…Lov…."

Buffy saw his hand move in hers and his blue eyes opened. His heart rate when wacky and the machines started to make strange noises. Buffy placed her hand on his face caressing it. Spike focused on her face and calmed down. He tried to speak but the breathing tub stopped him. She looked at him tears dripping onto his face. His eyes where glassy he looked at her questioningly. _Are you crying for me? Are those tears for me?_

The doctor blocked his view of her as he entered pushing her back. The monitors when crazy again. _It that my heart beating? Bloody hell, what happened? Did it work I thought that it would kill me. _Buffy stared at him as they instructed him that they would take the tub out. He gasped to breath in air with out the help of the ventilator. His chest burned and his injures hurt worse than when Glory had beaten him. The doctors called someone to talk to him from the psychology unit. Buffy was forced to leave the room. Angel was allowed in because he was family. Buffy slide onto the floor tears falling down her face. _I love you…did you hear me…I love you…_


	9. Having tea with him

Exiting---Let's have Tea

Angel stood with doctors arguing about what to do. He refused to allow them to examine or talk to Spike. Spike kept yelling at the doctors. He pushed there hands away when he stood to change into his clothing. He refused to stay even if the doctors told him he should. In truth he was scared and fearful of being in this place. He could sense death all around him. He just wanted to see Buffy to explain to her. She had looked at him so angrily. Does she hate him?

"Look, mate if you touch me one more time I will ripe your arm off. I don't want any of you to touch me. What do you not get about that? Get out now!" He screamed at the intern. Who fearfully left the room? Angel waited for Spike in the hallway. Buffy had stopped crying and stood at the door. She was so mad she wanted to hit him in the face. But at the same time she wanted to touch him and just to be sure he was really there. To be safe in his arms knowing that he was all right. She heard him scream and the intern flee the room. With the instruments he had on a tray. She heard another bloody hell exit the room. Than she heard a gasp that sounded painful and she opened the door. Angel tried to stop her but she pushed his hand away. Glaring at him angrily.

"Buffy, he does not want to see you. I told you that he almost ran off without telling us. He is afraid to face you." Angel said standing to the side.

"Good that dummy better be afraid. He almost… I will not allow him to hurt himself any more. I am tried of fighting with him. Of trying to please the others and do what they wish. What, if I had lost him? I would never have gotten to tell him. No, I am going to take care of him. Just like he would take care of me. I love him. They only way to tell him is through my actions. He does not believe me. Who can blame him I have hurt him so much." She pushed the door open and walked towards the bed. Spike had fallen onto the floor unable to stand.

Buffy heard his start to say "I thought I told you to scamper off, mate." But when he saw her he froze standing and winching. He almost fell again but she held him up. She took his shirt out of his hand and put it on him like a mother would a child. She buttoned up the buttons on the black shirt. He stared at the floor remembering how he had tried to rap her. Why, would she help him like this? She helped his slide his boots on and stand. Just like she had when the first had hurt him. The same look was on her face as before. He started to fall but she held him up. The nurse offered to give them a wheel chair he did not respond. Buffy said they where fine and lead him to Giles car. Willow and Dawn sat in the front Willow driving. The others had stayed to work out the paper work and billing.

"Buffy…why are you helping me? I don't deserve…"

"Spike, I am doing it because I care for you. When you care for someone you help them when they are in need." Spike looked into her eyes hoping she would say more but she did not. His head hurt and breathing was painful. Was breathing suppose to hurt like this he could not remember it had been so long. Buffy saw his face and watched him lean against the window. She reached her hand out and took his hand. She pulled him gently until his head rested on her lap. She ran her hands through his messy curly hair. Soon, he was asleep resting as they drove back to the house. She watched his eyes close and saw a tear slide down his face. He looked so small and breakable. His thin form had lost the strength she was used too. He looked broken with the bandages covering his hand and chest.

Spike moaned in pain as Buffy woke him and helped him up the stairs into the bed. She when down stairs and made some tea. She put lemon in it and honey and brought it to him. Spike looked at her and the tea. He smiled and took a ship.

Hey slayer when did you start learn to make tea….


End file.
